BE

“I know I can ,be who I wanna be .

If I work hard at it I can be whoever I wanna  be be  be”

                                                                                                       … Naz

A hot afternoon fashioned in the daily frustration of  my

Country – no fuel – no light .i discreetly walk about,

(almost aimlessly) I encourage myself to get set for the

working days ahead.

I stop to stare and am fascinated by the peaceful and happy

Sway of a tree.my spirit sway with it, gently sliding into the

thoughts  “what if I was a tree ? what if just like the song by

Naz,I can just be whatever I want to be anytime I wanted .

Am tempted to conclude that  motivational speakers have

been lying all this while, telling us all that we can do and be

Anything.

(LIARS)

ok guys back back back ,it would be too cheesy and unintelligible

to make conclusions like that.

Though life would be rather experimental (just like in the

Movie – The Golden COMPASS) I can go to work as a lion,

Fly back home as a eagle, eat dinner as a bear then make noise

to my neighbor as a penguin.

Fun fun fun

Am not a wizard, so I’m in deep resolution of what I can be and

the height of  what I can be.

Life can’t be more complicated than it is as a human.

Bye bye tree, keep swaying. till next time.

THE COSTLY DOUGHNUT

Writing to you all after a very long time is a"huge disssaaaaappointmeeeeeent"(say it in slow motion).

In the light of that, I conclude that DISTRACTION is a delightful doughnut.

In the past few months, I've seen the gradual and systematic growth of a hidden chaos and disorder.The constant move from right to wrong, wrong to right is like that small bubble in a plumb line trying to get it's balance.

Most Christian would end up asking the question"am I responsible to create my own rights and wrongs?"

Back to the word "Distraction", here's a scenario

H1:M43:S10 (the digital clock reads)

A night guard resumes what he terms"monotonous creek nite", the clock is an incomparable companion, at 2am everything seems like a drag, radio stations are all following that same theme -boring- , the brown skin stern guard struggles to keep his eyes open remembering that his objective for the next 6 hours still remains for him to keep his eye on the 6 screen monitor connected to the surveillance camera.Every night he's on duty he feels like the most prudent, selfish and richest man-to keep guard of 600tons of gold for months unending and yet he can't touch.

"sigh, bullshit world" he says, few minutes later the letter "D, D, D, D, D"flashes repeatedly in his head "yep it's time for doughnut" he delightfully murmurs to himself.

The convenience of getting doughnut is so plausible that he didn't need to get his feet off the control desk to reach for a doughnut box-there was doughnut of pleasurable flavors in every locker and box,(apparently he should be on round check now).

Eating and enjoying doughnut was an art to him, no rush and every bite was to be remembered "this is the shit meeeeen" he tells himself.

H2:M10:S35 am -doughnut is good, all monitors in order, everything seems peaceful and okay.

H2:M10:S36 am -doughnut is still good, monitors glitches unnoticed, everything looks good but it's not.

Less than 6 hours later he will discover the surveillance camera has been tampered with, all he's been watching on the monitors had been loops........he's been robbed......while eating doughnut.

Question is what doughnut are you eating, while being robbed.

DISTRACTIONS

Tick tock, tick tock pt 2

Tick tock, tick tock, the wall clock subjugates the stale silence, he seems enslaved by time now, its 3:48am, how time flies, so it does, seven years married, no child with Modele, it suddenly looks like illusion, time is passing with slow motion. 

I feel un-repented, yet I’ve brought many to repentance, oh gosh! Tonight is not the night for remorse and self pity “Femi glides back to bed, feeling less dampy, he takes one last look at Modele, briefly compassion and sorrow seems to overwhelm him, he reaches out to hold and caress her soft body as she curls up needing want. Femi suddenly retreats  “man up, men don’t do that, she has to apologise first” laying back on the bed either as defeat or victory, he recalls the name of the car agent he’s to call “Mr. Waahl” surely I will be the first Mr Waahl will be hearing from today. “As femi’s eyes lapses to close, he replays his imagination of himself in the car for that’s all that matters now…  tick tock tick tock.

It wasn’t the loud sound of crash that suddenly woke Femi up, it was rather an inner urgency of his desires “call Mr. waahl” turning to his side where Modele slept, he found she wasn’t there, “she must have left for work”he thought,femi layed on the bed feeling quite disappointed that she didn’t reach out to apologise”.  “Anyways, that’s least of my worries now,the brat can do whatever.ill do what I want I want how I want it” He checks the time 6:45am, enough time to sort things out before I make my call. Walking to the table on the far left of the room. He’s tempted to open his car purchase documents again, but rather fascinated by a note beside the documents. He grins even before he opens it. Knowing it was written by Modele. “finally I won” he said. Femi opens the note casually, reading with interest, “Femi my boo, waking up to go pee after you came back to bed. I stared at you and realized still, I love you deeply and I will always love you.for all you’ve done I forgive you,I will lay beside you now as your wife as God has given me to you. Am your friend too you know, we’ll talk better in the early hours before I leave for work”. Femi folds it back totally feeling out of place not expecting to be broken ,while still in the gloomy mood of guilt. He hears a loud crash, a crash sound he swore he heard some 5minutes ago but this time aggressively louder.

He runs to the balcony to confirm what was going on.the image before him was chaos. His neighbor Dunkan ran by on the street in mere panics, seeing Femi he shout “Femi, Femi” aaah!!! Everybody is gone o, aah! Femi everybody.” His  neighbors screams on running and the chaos femi stares at confirms his worst fear.

THE RAPTURE.

TICK TOCK,TICK TOCK pt 1

Tick , Tock, Tick, Tock

Could the night have been move more worse than this. The angers of yesterday and the hope of tomorrow, what was supposed to be a shoot happy night has twined out to  be a sweaty, hot long night. Sleep or so to speak “rest” has diminished. Femi lays on his back, arguing with his thought more or less wrestling adamantly on  how far he would yield or not.” who is she to challenge me, even if am wrong… so f@#k what, if she’s my wife! How dare she!”.

Femi rattled with these statements over and over in his mind like a looping track, sweat covered him more as he conversed repeatedly within himself. “This phcn people deserve a curse tonight” Femi quietly grumbled, trying to keep the room as pale, still and quiet as he left it 12minutes ago. Every movement he made was done with such default of carefulness ,pretending he was asleep.

Turning his body for convenience, he stares at the one whom he quickly refers to as THE CHALLENGE. “She’s your wife, you know” a soft voice reckons in his head  “she’s  just watching out for you” listening to the voice swells Femi into anger again, his heart beat races as he frowns so deeply that sweat runs quickly to the curves and furrows, gently dripping to his pillow.

He stares on at his wife in the dark extensive room, the more he stared the less he saw of her details, only silhouette left, her  silhouette forming words: bitter words ,everything rushes back again .”How did I end up having a night like this? Tonite was to be a good night for me going by my expectation tomorrow, tomorrow? Oh today !its 3am already” he turns around backing his wife not for convenience but to usher in a lighter thought. (And convenient it was)Femi’s attention focused on the document laying on the table at the extreme end of the room .A document he has reviewed over and over the previous day. He creeps to the table glancing back as a thief would. Getting to the table, he stares at the document as the moonlight shines on it. The document read “receipt of purchase” ,Femi’s satisfaction is entirely the brochure that comes with it. He pulls out a brochure with a Mercedes benz logo on it, flipping through the pages, he is overwhelmed.”TODAY I will be driving my first brand new car” a 2013   brand new Mercedes.

Scratching his scalp in the anxious manner that he’s used to, “everything else needs to change with this.” Still fondling with his scalp, he turns facing his wife Modele again.  “Why?” was the question in his head.  “I understand my flirt problems, is it a problem or a curse, either one is unpleasant. What am I to do? I really am making efforts, seriously. I am at least in comparison to my friends,…. Modele and I have to go over and over fights like this, she pulled a white flag for peace but my ego is too…. Whatever, besides how can she invade my privacy, men do these things once in a while, I’m right, totally right” femi stops, realizing that he’s gone  to the toilet and back, pacing around without realizing it. ....

IT IS WITH A GRAVE HEART THAT WE ANNOUNCE THE DEATH OF MY IGNORANCE.My ignorance has dug several pit and graves,all which has been unintentionally dug for what purpose i cannot trace neither can i justify.my ignorance has dug snares which has expended my journey,faulting the steps of others too.not this journey I've begged.which other journey could it have been...the one i chose,was chosen for me or the journey He willed on me.
Friends ,..today i'm righteous for i believed and believe that jesus is the son of God.
what is a righteous man? simply a man who believes Gen 15:6
I will boast  of nothing else but my believe for it will be counted as righteousness.....then i say "ignorance where are you".
come again with your vices and i will crave more to be righteous.for it is a gift.
mmmhhh.....

Sweet Darkness

sweating and dripping from anxiety, fear or is it from the adrenalin - don't know which (at least not yet).Every senses in me strains so hard to peep furtively into nothingness (nothingness?<is there a word like that,jeeeeeezzz) or rather the DARK SILENCE.
yeah! really it is both silent and dark.Silence and darkness walls off any form of information i might need now."Am i in danger or still having fun? "
Dont know where i've reached ,what angle i was,what's infront and what's behind.My thoughts grew tired of  patiently counting,my vibrations continued the count 10,11,12,13,14......(i felt like a sitting dock staring like a blind bat ) the count felt like forever.slowly my hand fondles ahead to reach the cold metal infront of me,closing my eyes is of no difference -"its still darkness all the same"
Then it started with a whisper,then two screams and ......... screams,it sounds like its coming from a thousand feet below,another passes above me -whoooossh,another scream just sped by me at arms lenght.
This screams are familiar,its.... its fear, exhiliration, anxiety, daring, adrenalin all mixed up (talk about bad mixture),just when i was to make my conclusions my carriage started moving again.At first steadily then .........all i knew was i was back on the crazy mad  loops at 200mph with screams all around creating a thread of uncharming echoes.
10 mins later,we all came to a stop.lights on and feeling dazed eagerly waiting to be unstrapped  from the seat belt "what a ride"we all said, "Dude that's not cool
ok back back back,this is the real picture - 30mins ago i paid to ride a rollercoaster in the dark.(beat that)
what such mad experience that was, we pay to go on a ride without knowing what to expect and how it will end.
i was over a thousand feet high (HIGH hmmmmmm lolz) IN DARKNESS ,switching on the lights and seeing how crazy we were riding would have made a few of us pass out (if not the whole riders)
is'nt it ironical that the journey and experiences we enjoy and engage ourselves in is just a rollercoaster in darkness.
Thinking:Where does it lead is the question?

Yep Free !

cheeky, cheeky, cheeky...thats what someone thought when he got my message.well shock shock ding dong.its real am giving out free stuff -tshirts ,posters (brands of "something perfect"),and books also.well there it goes,("he's crazy" you say) am just doing what God instructs me to do.wetin i go do nah.To get your free bundle just read one of the inspiring blogs leave a comment with your code name and phone no/bb pin.then ill get back to you asap,some might be personal delivery or you go pick up.
This is a long journey to the climax---just hook up to the community,there is absolute Sense Admitting You (SAY).
you're absolutely free to hook up your write up with me (as long as it's on the same road track with this vision)
for folks outside the boistering and noisy territory of Nigeria,getting your freebies is still a little puzzle,but bet ya ill get it to you.so ya all enjoy the archive and be a better person everyday.love love love
Lamii thanks (you know what)